For quite some time I've wanted to become less reliant on my iPhone, and I was confident I would be just fine without a phone. That being said, I wasn't willing to give my phone up voluntarily for a little personal challenge, so the Universe decided to kill my iPhone X: it fell out of my pocket and the whole thing smashed and bent to the point where I was fascinated by how poorly the new iPhones are built. I also learned something. 

 1. I rediscovered ancient forms of communication.
That's right. It turns out I don't even need an iPhone to call, text, or FaceTime people. I can just do that from my MacBook or iPad. I might not be able to reach people who don't have iPhones, but that's alright with me. I don't know that many people anyways, and certainly even fewer people without iPhones, if any at all.

2. Without my phone, I all of a sudden had all this extra time on my hands.
I was literally sitting there staring into the wall wondering what the hell to do. I mean, there's only so much Alexa can do to keep you entertained, and I'm not the kind of person who can watch TV for more than 30 minutes without getting bored. So with the 'Screen Time'-feature I realized I spent an astonishing 6+ hours a day playing mobile games.
I found a quick solution: I started playing The Sims, Sim City, and Grand Theft Auto on my MacBook again. This way time flew, and before I knew it, I finally had my replacement phone. 

3. New habits.
​Getting around town without a phone is nearly impossible. I don't have a working wristwatch - I thought those were decorative. I don't care for an Apple Watch (what a stupid thing), and I don't feel like opening up my laptop on the train to see what time it is. So I just kind of tried to cope without knowing what time it was, and also without GPS, and without the ability to reach anybody outside of a free WiFi zone (anywhere in L.A.) - I was kind of clueless, but happily so.
​I could feel my anxiety and blood pressure go down a little bit. It's nice to not be reachable. 

And now that I have my phone back, I try to limit the time I spend using it as much as possible. I mean, I'm on my laptop right now, and I know that I can blog directly from my phone, it's probably easier too, but I just really like a good old keyboard with the 'Do Not Disturb'-function turned on, because fuck notifications (they're mostly reminders I ignore for infinity).

​I love that every new day brings new experiences. Remembering that some days are good, some days are bad, and some days are just meh, is just a fact of life. Perhaps we just need a little reminder now and then. But these ups and downs are all part of this adventurous journey that we call life, and I believe that we have more power over it than we might realize.

Today has been a surreal day, in a very good way. I got up very early and worked with my husband at our salon, and after about five hours there, I went to work for one of my favorite clients at her home in Bel Air, and we ended up going back to the salon in Beverly Hills together -- the gorgeous woman needed her hair done. And there's no better hairstylist than my husband in this town! 

I've been meaning to decorate the salon for Halloween since like October 1st, but that's just not happened yet. So I went to a liquor store across the street from the salon to buy candy for our clients.

​Almost all their candy was from Eastern Europe, and since I'm not fluent in Slavic, I ended up buying a bag full of what I am pretty sure was Snickers and Reese's Pieces with a Polish ingredient list. Lol.

​They had lollipops though, and who doesn't like lollipops? I'm so not a candy person, but I can always lick on a lollipop. 

We both just got home, and right now we're having a glass of wine while we're doing our thang. I've put on Beyoncé, and while Hubby is making jewelry, I'm writing this.

​He just dropped a giant diamond ring in my wine glass, and I'm not sure whether to drink it or just pour myself a new one. For some reason I feel like diamonds should have antibacterial properties, but I guess that's just being blissfully ignorant. 

​I would like to finish by saying Fuck Photoshop. Body dysmorphia, eating disorders, anxiety, and depression are all on the rise. Flawlessness comes from within, and not via an app. This is me, too lazy to try  to edit myself to look like someone I'm not. Embracing how we actually look, rather than trying to edit ourselves out of proportion might not make the world a better place, but perhaps we'll feel a little bit better about ourselves, without drugs or therapy. From now on I won't post any photoshopped pictures, it's just a matter of principle.

It’s so easy when everything is good. I live for the good times. The good laughs. The happy days. My husband. My family. My friends.

But sometimes... it’s not that easy. I’m conflicted in many ways. If life in L.A. is a marathon, life back in Norway is like a relaxing stay at a 5-star resort.

​It’s hard coming to terms with my life choices sometimes. But I always followed my dreams. I haven’t had many dreams about the future lately, but I’ve always known I’ll end up wherever I belong. As cliché as it may sound, I do believe everything happens for a reason, and that we always have a choice, no matter what the situation is.

I feel like I’ve neglected myself totally. I’ve stopped caring about how I look. How I dress. Whether I have had my fillers and Botox or not. It’s more like a day to day survival instinct kind of thing. I don’t know how healthy this is, but I’m still alive, and I never really thought I’d still be here at 25.

I’m at a loss for words when it comes to getting myself back to my normal self. I’m starving myself to the point of exhaustion just to have an OK body, and if I sleep for more than 3 hours it feels like a victory.

Still, I want to keep going. I just don’t know how. Maybe it’ll come to me. Maybe it won’t. My past is so scary that I spend half of my energy suppressing the memories. And the future is so uncertain that it scares the shit out of me. And it seems like the present is just absent.

I wish life had a manual. #stayingpositive

I can tell you one crazy thing, though! This might come as a shock to you all (or not), but I've never been into sports, and while I always cheered for my hometown's soccer team Molde Fotballklubb (MFK), it took me like a decade just to learn the rules of soccer, which is a game with fairly simple rules compared to all the American sports, like baseball and whatever else is out there. I'm clueless when it comes to basically any sport, I just know that whichever team has the most points win. And then they advance into more prestigious leagues, I guess...?

However, 10 years ago I went to my first Dodgers game. I was like 14 and still living in Norway, just visiting L.A. for a language travel.

​I didn't understand what the hell the players were doing on the field, and the free food was really the most exciting thing about it. Now that I actually live in Los Angeles, and the Dodgers are playing games like all the time, I'm kinda secretly hoping for the Dodgers to fail so I don't have to deal with the insane traffic that every game brings. A trip that would've taken me 20 minutes on the freeway can take 2 hours when the Dodgers are playing. No likey.

I'm also kind of cheering for the Dodgers, and want them to win the World Series or whatever it's called, because that would be cool. Wow, I'm really wordy this morning!

​I guess this could be considered the first thing I've ever put in writing about sports. Even in college when I was writing for the university newspaper, and was asked to report on sports stories, I just came up with some excuse so I wouldn't have to put myself through all that. ​

As usual, life is a trip, with the good and the bad and everything in between. The weather is amazing (yes, I love you California), and today we're going shopping in Venice. My husband is so excited about it that he's literally been talking about what new outfits to get for a week now, so when he gets home in an hour, I'm gonna surprise him with a giftcard to his favorite store, and take him straight there. 

I'm hoping for a beautiful rest of the day, gosh, I only slept two hours last night... But most of all I want to thank each and every one of you for reading all this nonsense, and even giving me feedback. Wow!

The sleep survey I published a little while ago here, (still time to complete it - please do), is almost at 100 respondents, and I can't wait to write a piece about healthy sleep habits, and reveal the huge differences between Americans and Europeans in sleep habits. So stay tuned for more!

I woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed at 3 am today. I couldn't find my phone, and Alexa wasn't responding, so I actually had to find my computer to figure out what time it was. By the time I figured out how early it was, I had already gotten up from bed, and applied a facial and an eye mask. So I went into the drawing room, got comfy on the sofa, and started watching this nature/animal documentary on Amazon. 

All of a sudden it's close to 5 am, and going back to sleep isn't really an alternative at this point. Once I go to sleep it takes me eight hours to wake up. According to my phone I went to sleep around 7 pm last night. I know yesterday was quite stressful -- family drama, dealing with insurance companies, work, and on top of that taking the car into the shop, and filling out a bunch of forms for the beloved bureaucracy of Norway. After doing laundry, a grueling migraine confined me to bed, and somehow I managed to stay asleep for eight hours. 

Right now my biggest dilemma is whether to make coffee and put on the morning news on KTLA, or to continue watching this "Wildest Islands"-animal documentary. My husband is sound asleep, and we don't start work till 11 am, so I guess I might as well go back to sleep. The only problem about going back to sleep is that my husband usually wakes up when I come back into bed, and vice versa. It's like a little curse that we joke about. Whenever he gets up from bed, I wake up, and whenever I am ready to fall asleep, he wakes up.

Guess I'd better stick to my British narrated wildlife docu, have a little drink, and wait till the sun gets up before I do anything else, like another facial or something.

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Our dear friends Mary Jane & Cate + MJ's son Christopher, took us out for a fabulous vegan dinner with lovely cocktails at Gratitude on Canon Drive in Beverly Hills tonight.

The company was amazing. The food was beyond. The drinks were great. The service was impeccable.

And Chris brought a few "Fuck Trump!"-buttons from San Francisco for us to wear.
Well, more like a collection of three dozen different "Fuck Trump!"-buttons.
​I chose the one with the rainbow flag, and Phil took the one with the middle finger.
Take your pick, right?

God, I miss San Francisco, how liberal it is, and everything about it except the weather. It really reminds me of Oslo. ​

BTW, check out my Snap story @larstangen :* 

I've used the app 'Pacifica for Stress & Anxiety' for almost a year now, and it lets me log my feelings, my general mood, and I can also track health habits, like sleep and caffeine intake. When I open the app and log my general mood, I also get the option to do a 'daily exercise', like a five minute guided meditation, a journal entry, or browsing through inspiring and uplifting quotes to add to my hope board. 

I usually spend anywhere from 1 minute to 10 minutes on this app daily. My favorite feature is how customizable everything is, especially the tracking of health habits. It has given me great insight in my own health habits, and also motivated me to make changes where needed.  

Another feature I like, is that the app lets you send detailed reports to your health professional. I have not used this feature, but I have spoken to others who have. You simply choose what information you want to share with your health care provider, locate your health care provider on a list, or simply put in their email address. Your doctor or therapist might already be accessible on the app, and can work with you through the tools available.

Pacifica has truly reduced both my stress and anxiety, gradually over time, and I hope it might help you when you're dealing with a stressful situation.

It's available on the App Store and Google Play. 

FYI, I decided to purchase a lifetime subscription of the full version of the app, but the app is amazing without the premium features, so you won't have to spend a cent trying it out. If you want to try the full access version, their pricing is $8.99/month, $53.99/year, $199.99/lifetime. 

Disclaimers: 
​Please note that I am not a health care professional, and I would advise you to consult a doctor before making any decisions regarding your health. 

I am not affiliated with Pacifica, Apple, Google, or any other company or brand name mentioned in this article, and have not received any financial incentives for publishing it. I am simply sharing my personal experience with this product.